Friday, May 18, 2012

Mommy Wars... Where's The Real War?

Photo Credit: http://madamenoire.com/
A friend posted an article recently from the Huffington Post called "The Only Mommy War Worth Waging", and it got me to thinking.  Is there really a Mommy War going on?  The author mentions the Working Mom vs the Stay At Home Mom, as a battle from last month.  And of course we have all seen the new Time Magazine cover and article about extended breastfeeding and attachment parenting.  Is there really a difference?  Does one choice or a lifestyle of choices such as being a Stay at Home Mom really make you a better Mom?  Does baking homemade breads and having a creative side a mile wide, to qualify you as the next Martha Stewart make you "Mom Enough"? 

Does it really matter that one child's mom works, while another stays at home?  Don't they both love their children?  Don't they both care for them, and do their best to be an example to look up to?   Is this really a Mommy War?  What about the mom who chooses to feed her baby formula?  Does it really make that much of a difference that she isn't breastfeeding?  Is this worth getting upset over?  Is it worth debating?  Is it worth pitting one mom against another over?   Simply stated, NO.

Kristen Howerton drives her message home about which war is worth the fight, "When it comes to issues of motherhood, there is one issue I care about: some kids don't have one."    

Photo Credit: http://wn.com
She also states:
  •  "This is the only mommy war I'll wage. I'm confident that most mothers are doing the best that they  can for their kids, even if their choices are different than mine. I think it's ridiculous that so much energy      is spent on debating largely inconsequential parenting decisions when so very little attention is given to the children who DON'T HAVE PARENTS. Why isn't this causing outrage? Making magazine covers? Inciting ranty twitter posts?"
  • "The only mommy war I support involves moms banding together to talk about the number of children in our world who are missing out on basic human needs. Security. Love. Affection. Let's wage a war about that.  Not everyone can adopt, but we can all do something. Even if it's just using our voices for something more productive than personal parenting choices.
  • Let's stop quibbling about what competent mothers are choosing for their kids, and step it up for the kids that don't have one."
Thank you, Kristen.  I for one have been touched by your article.  I don't care what your personal parenting style is.  You love your kids, and for that I am truly happy.  But I am once again reminded and saddened over the many children, babies through teens, who so desperately want and need a loving real family.  And I'm sure, they really wouldn't care what your parenting style is; as long as they loved.  
Photo Credit: http://nfivt.org
If you haven't read the article yet, I encourage you to check it out HERE.